Mike is the limerick king
Mike wins by a motherfucking landslide. Out of the whopping 19 votes that came in before 2PM, Mike captured 10--that's like 95 percent!
Man, Mike, after I deconstructed your limerick, I guess I kinda convinced myself that you had no friends. Glad to see I was wrong: the big losers are clearly Talia and Dancing Retard Matt, who didn't even vote for themselves. You stupid fucks. Let me give you a little life advice I learned a long time ago from my mentor, Welcome Back Cotter's Vinny Barbarini...Barbarino...whatever: You gotta take care of numero UNO.
Well, it's been a real pleasure wasting my time finding pictures to go with your limericks; some of you, particularly Patricia, for whom I voted twice because I thought she might be cute, show some real promise as limericksters, and I urge you to follow your dreams right to the top. Better luck next time some jackass holds a limerick contest for an awesome concert ticket. Which will be never. Happy new year.
JMFB
Mike: I'll be in touch, but plan to meet me at Irving Plaza at 9PM.